People often ask what the most common issues are in marriage counseling and the generic answer is usually "communication". Digging deeper into what can create real conflict between partners, though, is a sense that both people aren't counting equally in the relationship. Not counting equally is a ...read more
New Years Resolutions for Your Relationship
Happy New Year! It's the time when people make resolutions for ways they are going to improve themselves or their lives for the new year. Now, I'm not knocking the decision to get in shape but wouldn't it make a whole lot of sense to prioritize a New Years Resolution for your relationship first? ...read more
The Art of Compromise
Let’s just start by acknowledging how sweet it would be if we could always have our way in life. Nice, huh? Well, and then we woke up. In real life and in real relationships, no one person gets their way all or even most of the time. Given that each relationship is a combination of two different ...read more
Why Does Ritual Matter Anyway?
When you think about a ritual, what comes to mind? Often, people will initially think about a religious ritual or something to do with a secret club. At Dictionary.com, one of the definitions is “any formal act, institution, or procedure that is followed consistently”. Did you know that families ...read more
Married For a Day
As much as we all love weddings, it’s time to put them in their place. How do you think your new job would go if you stopped working at it once you got it? Regarding your kids...do you stop trying to “be a parent” once you have the baby? Wouldn’t it be ridiculous if you worked and earned the ...read more
Simple Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Heard and Understood
When you feel seen and acknowledged, what’s that like? You feel pretty good, right? If you notice someone looking at you, you straighten up and stand taller, adjusting yourself a bit; and if the person seeing you also loves and respects you, you feel a little glow. You shine brighter than if you ...read more
Six Building Blocks Of Healthy Relationships
Healthy, secure, loving, confident children: it’s a parent’s greatest hope. The path our children follow to become an adult is peppered with challenges and uncontrolled emotions. As Susan Stiffelman points out in her book Parenting Without Power Struggles, children want and need the security of a ...read more
The Conditions For Healing After An Affair
The unthinkable has occurred. One spouse betrayed the other. It was an affair, a “fling,” and office romance, a one-night stand, or “just one of those things…” In any case, it was unforgiveable. Or was it? You might be surprised to learn how many couples try to repair their relationship after an ...read more
The Number One Reason Couples End Up In Therapy
More than any other reason, people come to me for help because of this one problem. If you guessed “Communication,” you’re right! It’s the most common issue that drives a wedge between people. Not feeling heard and understood turns an otherwise healthy relationship in to a barren wasteland of ...read more
Creating A Culture Of Appreciation In Your Relationship
Look to any guide promising the key to happiness and you’ll find the element of gratitude. It doesn’t matter who you are, or what your stage of life, if you can look around you and find something to be thankful for; you have the potential for happiness. Gratitude is a basic building block of a ...read more