Has giving an apology become a lost art? Often I hear about how our society is less civil and it seems that one part of that loss is the ability to apologize well. Linked closely with an ability to apologize is obviously the ability to take personal responsibility or to hold someone accountable. ...read more
Betrayal! Losing trust in your relationships.
Betrayal is a big word so sometimes we worry it's just too much. However, when you lose your trust in your relationship that's how you end up feeling--betrayed. Some betrayals are bigger than others, of course, like infidelity. Other times there is a build up of disloyalty that can feel like ...read more
Giving the Benefit of the Doubt
When a good friend tells you something came up and she has to cancel plans, what do you do? Do you make the worst case assumptions about the "real" reasons or are you good at giving the benefit of the doubt? Often, in friendship and in early dating, we are all better at giving the benefit of the ...read more
“Home” for the Holidays!
Here it is, the thick of the holiday season. Between the just past Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa and New Years we have so many opportunities to gather in groups and families to celebrate things. Funny how the very celebrations we look forward to all year also bring so much stress and ...read more
10 Tips to Fair Fighting
Perhaps you are thinking that a marriage counselor and relationship coach shouldn't be teaching you to fight with your partner. Now, while I'd love it if couples didn't fight, we all know that conflict is a part of life and it WILL happen. When conflict arises, it's important that you at least are ...read more
The Art of Compromise
Let’s just start by acknowledging how sweet it would be if we could always have our way in life. Nice, huh? Well, and then we woke up. In real life and in real relationships, no one person gets their way all or even most of the time. Given that each relationship is a combination of two different ...read more
What To Do When One of You Might Want Out
Marriage is hard work. For the record, I’m including all relationships that are acting as married when I say this. Couples wait, on average, about 6 years into being troubled before they seek any help. That is, IF they seek help from a marriage counselor at all. As a result, sometimes it gets ...read more
How to Allow Influence and Win People
Dale Carnegie published his famous book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People” in 1936 and it’s remained a best seller. In today’s culture we are often more interested in how to be the one doing the influencing that we forget the importance of allowing others to influence us. Well, to be more ...read more
Grace Under Pressure
Grace: disposition to, or an act or instance of, kindness, courtesy, or clemency; mercy, pardon; a special favor; the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful. (Merriam-Webster.com)We talk about God's grace, a dancer's grace and being in someone's good graces but we rarely use grace ...read more
I Love You Just the Way You Are: The Power of Acceptance
One day the Sun and the Wind were having a bit of an argument about who was more powerful. Finally, they decided to have a contest to end the disagreement. The Wind noticed a woman wearing a light overcoat and said "Whoever gets that coat off the woman is the most powerful and wins." The Sun ...read more
