People often ask what the most common issues are in marriage counseling and the generic answer is usually "communication". Digging deeper into what can create real conflict between partners, though, is a sense that both people aren't counting equally in the relationship. Not counting equally is a ...read more
New Years Resolutions for Your Relationship
Happy New Year! It's the time when people make resolutions for ways they are going to improve themselves or their lives for the new year. Now, I'm not knocking the decision to get in shape but wouldn't it make a whole lot of sense to prioritize a New Years Resolution for your relationship first? ...read more
Familiarity Breeds Contempt…But It Doesn’t Have To.
Complacency and Contempt:Recently I heard someone say "familiarity breeds complacency", a slightly different version of the old saw "familiarity breeds contempt". It got me thinking about some of the most familiar of relationships and what can too easily happen to them.All relationships of any real ...read more
I Love You Just the Way You Are: The Power of Acceptance
One day the Sun and the Wind were having a bit of an argument about who was more powerful. Finally, they decided to have a contest to end the disagreement. The Wind noticed a woman wearing a light overcoat and said "Whoever gets that coat off the woman is the most powerful and wins." The Sun ...read more
Dating Someone You Have to Stretch to See in Your Forever Future?
You probably know how it feels to go out with someone who has all the qualifications of a great match. He has a good career, others like him, he treats you well, etc. In other words, he looks good "on paper". However, there is one thing that just doesn’t check out: you’re gut. If you’ve ever been ...read more
Lean In and Create an Arch
Do you ever have days (or maybe weeks, months or even years) that start to feel like it’s all just a bit too much to manage? Recently I was talking with someone who has had life throw quite a few curve balls over the years and the response was “I’m tired!”. Sometimes life can make us tired and at ...read more
Married For a Day
As much as we all love weddings, it’s time to put them in their place. How do you think your new job would go if you stopped working at it once you got it? Regarding your kids...do you stop trying to “be a parent” once you have the baby? Wouldn’t it be ridiculous if you worked and earned the ...read more
The Truth About Teamwork
Think about how hard life is and multiply is by two. Someone once said this is how hard marriage can be. Sounds kind of pessimistic, doesn’t it? Let's not stop there! Now think of the same concept from an optimist’s point of view. Think of how hard life is and divide it in half. To an optimist, ...read more
Simple Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Heard and Understood
When you feel seen and acknowledged, what’s that like? You feel pretty good, right? If you notice someone looking at you, you straighten up and stand taller, adjusting yourself a bit; and if the person seeing you also loves and respects you, you feel a little glow. You shine brighter than if you ...read more
The Upward Spiral Of Gratitude In Couples
The Upward Spiral of Gratitude Have you ever noticed that glow on someone who is grateful for all sorts of little things? They not only remember to say thank you for the smallest of kindnesses, they infuse everyday life with warmth and genuine appreciation. We all want to be around these people ...read more