Mother’s Day is big business for card stores, restaurants serving brunch, florists and even jewelry stores. The average amount Americans will spend (for each mom) on Mother’s Day is around $170! Wow. That’s a lot of STUFF.
In honor of mothers all over, I thought I’d send out a top 5 list on what mother’s REALLY want–at least based on what I hear from moms all the time.
What she wants #5: She wants to actually sleep in!
What that really means: It means Dad makes sure the kids are quiet for real, not just a dull roar downstairs or in the other room. If you have to take them outside to accomplish this guys, it will be well worth the effort in her appreciation. It also means letting her decide what time she gets out of bed, not just whatever time the kids can’t stand it anymore.
What she wants #4: She wants your time.
What that really means: Women like to feel like they are important enough that some planning went into things, that any present wasn’t just whatever could be found at the last minute. She wants the card to reflect her personality and hopefully her relationship with those kiddos. If she’s a mom to littles, she probably loves the homemade cards or drawings.
What she wants #3: She wants a day OFF.
What that really means: Giving mom brunch is awesome. Truly. Moms really want the whole day off though. She wants to be relieved of cooking duties all day but probably even more important, she wants to be relieved from the constant decision making, refereeing, directing of behaviors of all kind. She wants a day without any lazy questions like “Honey (or Mom), where is the ………” when the asker hasn’t actually looked very hard. She wants the other people who live in her house to know what’s supposed to happen on any given day and manage it pro-actively.
What she wants #2: She wants a day without any fighting kids.
What that really means: Seriously? This one is pretty self explanatory but it does include all the little snark and jabs and squawking kids do without actually fighting. At our house we call it “poking with words”. So, no fighting and no poking with words. All day.
What she wants #1: She wants validation and appreciation for all she does.
What that really means: Now, I’m not saying Dads don’t have a hard job too, but that’s for a different day. The job moms do is really often a different one and a huge amount of it goes unnoticed. They manage kids’ emotional needs from the temper tantrums of toddlerhood to the angst of teenage years. They track what’s happening with friends, in school, in activities, who is doing what to whom and how it affects everyone else.
They manage appointments and conferences and whether someone has yet again outgrown all their clothes or shoes. She feels the pressure of mommy wars as well as the kids’ desire to keep up with the Joneses. She probably has many times and days in a year when she wonders if she’s doing it all “right” or she feels like she’s failing someone. If her kids don’t act right or they go far stray in life, she’s probably the first one blamed. She’s spending time thinking about what kind of people those kids will turn out to be in life, in relationships, in the world and she wonders if she’s prepared them well.
What moms really want to hear: I love you. You do so much for so many. You have such a hard job and you do it so well. You are pretty amazing and we are lucky to have you. THANK YOU.
Now, if you happen to live in a house with two moms, take turns having a mom’s day so you each get a whole entire day that’s devoted to her. There are enough weekends in May to manage that and you both deserve it.
Moms out there–YOU ROCK. You are the real super heroes in the world. It’s ok to take an entire day and make it about you. Really. So have a cup or a glass of something, put up your feet and open those arms for hugs. You deserve it.
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