Now think of the same concept from an optimist’s point of view. Think of how hard life is and divide it in half. To an optimist, this statement doesn’t ring true because people instinctively know that when a marriage is made of two people pulling the same weight, the weight feels even lighter than half.
When two people share the load and pull together, they can pull more than two people pull separately. It’s a scientifically proven miracle of the physical and spiritual world.
The key is pulling “together” in the same direction and toward the same goal. Sounds easy enough… unless the two participants are lacking good communication.
A woman and her husband were moving a very heavy tabletop made of glass toward the table base in another room. They picked it up, each holding one side, and before long decided that they’d need to carry the glass vertically while they went through doorways.
Oddly, the nearer they got to the table base, the harder it became for each to hold onto the sheet of glass. Since the glass was the same on both sides, each was trying to turn the glass toward the same direction. They struggled imperceptibly until it was clear what they were doing. Then they laughed, and talked it out, deciding easily which way the tabletop needed to go on the base.
I tell that story because it illustrates how easy it is to just assume that you are working together as a team. It’s so easy to misinterpret your partner’s actions, even as you are working together in their presence, unless you say what you are thinking. Some might call it overkill, “too much information all the time” but think of the trouble even the smallest communication might prevent.
You can be pulling equal weight, and moving in generally the same direction, and even toward the same goal. But without communication, without discussing your intentions, or even directly, how to efficiently work together, you may actually be thwarting the other’s best efforts.
Teamwork requires communication. It’s the secret sauce that allows you to do all the things you want to do as a couple in a healthy, enjoyable, and productive partnership. It makes lighter work of your marriage. Without communication, marriage and any other form of teamwork is very difficult indeed.
Talking through issues large and small, removes any assumption and confusion, and actually ensures that the weight you’re both carrying is as light as can be.